The Hurt Locket.

Last night was a big night! Gossip Girl returned after an entirely too long hiatus! And while the epsiode itself was not all that I wanted it to be, I can always count on the Daily Intel Gossip Girl Recap for some hilarity to ensue.

I look forward to Monday's to watch GG, and Tuesdays to mock it. These bloggers really to catch just about every ridiculousness that is a part of this Monday night 1 hour of Upper East Side glamour. Here are a few of my favorites from this week's recap:

• Bart Bass bought his girlfriends lockets with his own face in it. HA. This reminds us of the most amazing piece of gossip we ever heard about Bruce Willis, which is that he once picked up a woman by whispering "Bruce" in her ear. Plus 10, because never underestimate the egoism of the rich and famous. (See: fat cat)

• We were worried that after the hiatus, the writers would try to bamboozle us into thinking that Serena — formerly nationally relevant skabimbo (Definition: cross between a bimbo and a skank. For examples, see Woods, Tiger: Mistresses Of) — had smartened up. But then Serena says "Text me your number" to Damien, even though neither of them appear to have the other's number. Plus 2. (Today's new favorite term: skabimbo. Not naming any names...)

• Ugh, Chuck has a pinkie ring. Plus 2. (ewe to men who wear jewlery that doesn't tell time or signify a marriage...future fat cats, take note)

• Plus 2 for Jenny's terrible pale-pink lipstick, which looks almost exactly like the zinc we wore to the beach in the fifth grade. It's almost as perfect as her Kiss of the Spider Woman dress. (I COMPLETELY disagreed! I loved the pink lipstick. WAY better than the trampy amount of eyeliner she used to wear. At least she doesnt look like a "skabimbo" now)

• Lily is sitting by the fire doing nothing but drinking a glass of Chardonnay when Rufus walks in. Plus 5. (Love this. It is all part of the slow downfall of inevitable alcoholism that is taking over Lily Van der Woodsen/Bass/Humphrey)

• Rufus flies with loose skis and poles, and no ski bag? No, they don't let you do that, even if your baggage claim ticket is for the "Brooklyn" portion of the storage bay. Minus 5. (HAHAHA. SERIOUSLY. I was thinking the exact same thing.)

• Is that slutty singleton from Lily's building carrying around an umbrella over her head when it isn't even raining? Minus 3. (I just appreciate this because that I hate that "slutty singleton." And I hate Rufus for going to her apartment.)

• Why does Blair only wear black and sequins in this episode? Minus 1. (I thought she looked good! It's about time she starts wearing something other than headbands with oversized bows on them)

All in all, the episode was blah, hoping for a bit more next week!

peaceloveandgchat.

C