Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Forever Young

In an ideal world, I would be young FOREVER. I don't mean one particular age, but I just don't want to get old. I think of this every time I see an old man crossing the street at the speed of a snail--(NYC traffic stops for nobody. Pick up the pace old man.)! I do realize that growing old is a part of life, but there are some portions of that right of passage that I would like to refrain from being applied to MY life. On top of the obvious things I would rather not happen to me (ending up in a wheel chair, losing control of my bowel movements, being put in a nursing home to live with my 25 cats--you know, typical old people things), I do NOT want to lose my sight.

Obviously nobody wants to lose their sight, but age related sight loss could possibly be one of the most annoying things that could happen! My grandma, Nana P, has Macular Degeneration, and I am reminded of that every time I call her house! This is where your central vision is eventually destroyed and you become virtually blind. Now normally one would react poorly to this diagnosis, but Nana P has been a TROOPER (and so have her grand-daughters that have helped her deal with it--if i do say so myself)!

With a loss of vision, comes lots of new gadgets! Every time I go to visit Nana P, she has a new Big Print, Talking item in the house! This morning it was brought to my attention that Nana P needed "Talking Caller ID." I gave her a ring to find out the details, and while I was on the phone, asked her if I could call her right back (bad connection). Thanks to the MD she is rocking in her eyes, she wasn't able to see that she didn't hang the phone up all the way, and now I am unable to reach her. (Also typical old lady move, she doesn't have call waiting--she grew up during the Depression, guess I can't blame her!). While I have been calling her every 10-15 minutes the last 4 hours, I have also been browsing the internet for new Visual Impairment Aids! Here are some of the highlights (most of wish Nana P already owns)...

Nana P is a card shark. She has an entire drawer filled with the Hoyles Super Jumbo Bridge Deck...

Good news! R and I can keep up our Scrabble addiction in our old age, with the Low Vision Large Print Scrabble Tiles!!!!

This one is my personal fave! The Superior Bathroom Talking Scale! Nana P got this for Christmas one year, and it now resides in her dining room. (In case she wants to weigh herself after dinner?). I cannot think of anything more terrifying than stepping on a scale and having it yell out your weight in a "clear, audible voice." S and I were both too nervous to hear our post-holiday season weights out loud, so we threw the dog on it! Scuddles weighed a mere 18 pounds, and the entire house knew it! If there is ever a point in my life where I can't see anything, I'm going to say 'fuck it' and not care about how much I weigh. I won't be able to see my protruding saggy skinned belly anyways!

And in case you're not depressed enough about your age, Old Maid-Brailled!!!!! Perhaps a gift for Nana P!?

R wears glasses sometimes (and can't handle contacts), so I truly hope she is not cursed with this problem in her old age! Good luck, R!



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