Thursday, April 8, 2010

men, please take note...

I titled this with the assumption that we have male readers...which I'm pretty sure we don't. So in that case, ladies take note...perhaps in case you come across this pig in any of your DC adventures....(and if you do, slap him across the face for me...thanks).

An anonymous friend of ours sent me this email that she received. Coincidentally B, the person of attack in the email, works two desks down from this anonymous friend of ours....This email has been spread like wild fire, and has even been posted on Late Night Shots. The first email is from B, sent to his now ex-girlfriend, A. Followed by A's response to B. (Don't you love how I seem to think I know these people...when in reality I have not a clue who either of them are...although I did try and find them on facebook...apparently their names are way too common...FAIL). Please enjoy...and by all means, stay away from this db.


I was going to give you my certificate for a 3 pound lobster to use with your parents at the palm, but I am so furious at you for dragging E into our issues that it would be unconscionable to do so. While I wish you the best and hope you can get the job at _____, I no longer have any hope for us. I will always be cordial should we run into each other in Georgetown, but please know that there is no possibility of us ever getting back together. The sooner you can move on from me, the happier you will be. Please leave me alone and let me move on with my life. Have fun with your parents.




The fact that you started this email by offering, and then withdrawing an offer for a “3 pound lobster at the Palm” – something I never asked for or even want – speaks volumes about the sort of person that you are and the amount of the respect that you have had for me throughout the course of our relationship. Additionally, your declaration that “there is no possibility of us ever getting back together” is something that I have known for a long time, but struggled to admit to myself. Now, I am happy to say that I am finally able to do so. B, from the very beginning, you have cheated on me, belittled me, demeaned me and brought out the absolute worst in me. I have never had the misfortune of being treated the way you treated me by anyone else that I have dated, ever. If I were to ever even consider dating you again, my family has said that they will, in short, disown me. All of my friends know what you have done to me, and I doubt they would have any respect for the sort of woman who would go back to a serial liar and cheater.

Let me summarize our problems, just for the record:

1. In the beginning of our relationship, I was 22 years old, and not in the working world. You used the fact that I went out a lot and had a little too much fun on occasion to justify cheating on me –repeatedly – with KB, a woman 13 years your senior, whom you have continued to see and sleep with from nearly the moment our relationship was over (and as recently as last Thursday night). I never once cheated on you, or even considered doing so – because I believe that when you commit to someone, you commit to them alone. You continued to express your feelings for her well over a year into our relationship, but continued to insist to me that “she means nothing to me” and “I could never bring her home to my family or introduce her to my friends.”

2. When you were in London, you slept with a girl that you met in a bar, and only admitted to it after she picked up your phone when I called it the next morning. You then told me that you did this because of “the problems in our relationship,” and that “she followed you home in a cab.” Are you kidding me?

3. Over Thanksgiving break this past year, you met a girl at Smith Point, took her home to my apartment (which you and I do not share) and proceeded to sleep with her in my bed – after being sure to knock over my shoe rack so she would not see that you had taken her back to your girlfriend’s apartment. When I confronted you the next day after finding her scarf on my couch, you lied and said you had no idea where it might have come from, and you then proceeded to tell me that you were concerned about our relationship – so I’d get good and worried about us and drop the subject. I only discovered the truth after asking my building manager if I could look at the tapes of the front door of our building, and watched you walk in, using my key, at 2:40 am, with another girl. Once again, you cried and apologized, and once again, you explained that "she followed you home."

4. Your complaint about me is that I didn't "make you smile or laugh." B, because you cheated on me so often and from the very beginning, I was never able to be myself - I was constantly trying to prove to you that I was worth being with, and hoping that you wouldn't drop me for someone else. You always did have the upper hand, and I was never able to relax with you. You can't cheat on someone in the beginning, expect them to get over it and be bubbly, happy and carefree. It just doesn't work that way. In retrospect, I never should have allowed the relationship to last past May of 2007.

5. You routinely called me a “dumb blonde,” actually patted me on the head when I made mistakes (seriously?), belittled me for my clumsiness, and told me that you were concerned that I would “drop our child” if we ever were to have one together. You were constantly cold and lacking in affection, and made me feel guilty for being affectionate toward you, in public or in private.

6. For at least the past four months, you have engaged in an inappropriate emotional affair with your coworker, EC. I’m not sure if you’re capable of understanding that emotional infidelity is the same – or worse – than physical cheating, but trust me, it is. It is NOT appropriate to share details of your relationship and private things about your girlfriend’s life with a girl that you have known for two months, and that you work with. It is NOT appropriate to go out to lunch with her, alone, two or three times a week. It is NOT appropriate to spend an afternoon discussing your respective failed relationships with her for four hours while your girlfriend (who left her phone in your car) waits for a ride home in the middle of a blizzard. I know for a fact that you have reached out to EC’s friends about a so called “plan of attack” for getting her to date you, and that you have wined her, dined her, and taken her to a concert in the hopes of doing so. My problem with EC is that she is so naïve as to think that this is how one acts with a male coworker…she is young, never had a real job before this one, and still does not know how things should be between colleagues. I do hope that she has the good judgment to avoid a relationship with you. I would never wish what you have done to me on anyone - and you will do it again, and again, and again.

I do know, however, that regardless of what you say, your behavior is not my fault. You cheated on your college girlfriend of two years –A – with your next girlfriend, J, who didn’t have a clue what was going on. You then proceeded to cheat on J with at least four different people that she knows of – as you know, she and I have been speaking. Finally, when times got tough and J needed you to step up and take responsibility for your actions (you know exactly what I am talking about, and most of Georgetown knows as well), you abandoned her and proceeded to sleep with KB the night on which she most needed you. One week later, while J was recovering from one of the most traumatic experiences I can even imagine, you were with KB at a James Taylor concert, having the time of your life. How could you do these things to people?

B, the one common denominator in all of your failed relationships is you. I know that you have been raised to think that you are the best – exceptional in some way due to your athletic accomplishments and the fact that you went to Harvard and spent one year at a British boarding school. All this aside, you are not excepted from common courtesy and decent human behavior, and if you continue to treat people the way that you do, you will find that you have even fewer friends than you do now – and you don’t have very many. Your reputation in Georgetown already precedes you, and many people know the wrongs you have committed. I have never had so many people approach me and tell me that they're glad I'm out of what seemed to be a truly stifling relationship as I have in the past month and a half.

I do regret that I was unable to let you go, even when it was obvious that I should have done so – but I used to love you and hoped that it could work. I have come to realize that you are not a good person –you may believe that you are deep down inside, but actions define a person’s character – and your actions have defined you in more ways than you could ever hope to overcome.


All I have to say is good for A, and thank GOD for the person that decided this email had to be shared with the world via the internet.

I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did...



No comments:

Post a Comment