Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Ex-Husbands and Wives.

Within the first 5 minutes of Gossip Girl airing last night, I received the following text messages:

"Are you watching GG? I'm confused about something-did Rufus and that woman really sleep together?" -R

"Why am I not as smart as Gossip Girl?"...."SB and I are confused" -JN

How many girls with college educations does it take to understand an episode of GG?

Seriously though, these past few episodes have been a bit confusing. Last night, however, it all seemed to fall into place. (Even though it took text messaging with both R and JN throughout the entire show for all 3 of us to understand what was going on...and I'm still not entirely convinced that JN is completely with it, but i forgive her, because she's blonde).

Now that we all (or most of us) are on the same page, we can once again count on the Daily Intel Gossip Girl Recap to give us another good laugh! Here are some of the wittier portions of the analysis of last nights episode:

Realer Than the Humphreys All Talking About One Another in the Third Person:

• Blair: “I mean, who starts a courtship during the day, anyway? Serena: “Humans who venture out in light and aren’t named Bass?” Plus 2. (ZING)

• Blair is the girl who wears the most slips of any girl under 20 in the whole world. Seriously, American Girl dolls have fewer protective undergarments. Plus 2. (Did anyone else want to wear slips when they were little girls, merely because their American Girl doll wore one?!---or maybe I'm alone on that one....)

• Nate says Serena is "in a good place." Plus 1. (HA-when has Serena EVER been in a "good place"??)

• Some of Jenny’s extensions are making a break for it. Plus 1. (I really hope this is refering to the scene at the library benefit where Jenny is talking to William, and she has a Jheri curl-like rat's tail hanging down the middle of her back...while the rest of her hair seems to be in a side pony tail...get a brush. Or at least a mirror.)

• Serena says “I didn’t mean for you to find out this way” to Lily, even though she set the whole thing up exactly to go down that way. Plus 2. (Of COURSE Serena wanted her mom to find out this way. She thinks she's a 35 year old who knows the best way to break it to her own mother that her husband is allegedly cheating on her. This is "Gossip Girl," not "Serena the Secret Keeper." She obviously is going to let her mom find out in front of the entire extended family)

• William will only invite Lily to the library benefit if Serena comes, too. Plus 3, because every time it seems like he wants to sleep with his daughter this ridiculous plot becomes slightly more believable, as gross as that is. (Thank GOD they said this. William is so creepy around Serena. Every time they are alone I feel like hes going to try and cop a feel. Keep your hands off your daughter, Mr. Van der Woodsen)

• Nate knows a “Captain Lewis” from the police? Plus 2. ("I'm glad Nate had the police on speed dial"-JN. "And that they know him by first name"-C)

• It is only when Jenny's boobs are presented at their most spectacular and Serena-like that Nate finally accedes to her advances. Plus 10, especially for the way he trails her into the other room, like a puppy following someone wearing its owner's sweater. (In the words of Plies, "Titties is bouncin' up and down")

Faker Than "Holland" Having an Actual Medical Practice:

• Why is this episode the first time we hear someone say “lymphoma”? Minus 3. (THANK YOU. This was the root of some confusion in the past couple of episodes. Nobody ever mentioned what exactly it was that Lily was sick with! Come on GG, the majority of your viewers are tweens. You need to spell things out.)

• Jenny's lolling-about-the-house-grounded outfit consists of a lace miniskirt, several pounds of jewelry, a leather jacket, a full face of makeup, and a hairdo that involves prom-style curling-iron ringlets. Minus only 2, because we remember dressing up like Madonna in Who's That Girl when we were stuck at home as kids — of course, we never left the house. (What are you talking about? I TOTALLY walk around the house as if the Paparazzi could be right around the corner. DUH.)

Serena: “Well, you have been there throughout her entire sickness.” But not, you know, the previous fifteen years. Minus 1, because come on, Serena. Normally we give you points for saying stupid things, but this is just too much.
(This is just one of the many reasons I have begun to hate Serena. On top of the fact that she's a raging bitch to Rufus, the DILF.)

• William: "I've got the files in my bag. Do you want to see them?"Serena: "No, Dad, you don't have to prove yourself."William: "I think I do." [Runs away like a totally pussy.] Worst. Exit. Ever. Minus 3.
(He would. I saw this coming 3 epsiodes ago. Total sleezeball. I know Serena is a total moron, but come ON. He ran away from you 15 years ago...what would stop him from doing it again?)

All in all, a pretty decent episode. Now that William is out of the picture (hopefully), I think I can handle giving my full attention to the TV screen from 9-10 on Monday nights. Can't wait til next weeks episode!



1 comment:

  1. jenny's hair was awful in this episode! i hate her style anyway but this was just above and beyond atrocious.