From: H-Ster
To: C, R, HLR, HHS, NN, MCG, KK, C-Mac
Subject: Poop Terrorism
I just heard this hilarious story from my friend. His friend, let's call her Amanda, finally hooked up with the guy she's been dating for a few weeks now. In the morning, the guy leaves for work, Amanda, unemployed, stays in bed but gets up to go to the bathroom. She ends up pooping and clogs the toilet. She tries a plunger to no avail. She then gets two zip lock bags and scoops the poop out of the toilet into the bags. She leaves the bags on the guy's kitchen table and goes back to bed.
skip ahead a few hours, Amanda leaves the apartment, walking outside realizes she LEFT THE ZIPLOC BAGS ON THE KITCHEN TABLE. She hysterically cried to the door man but he wouldn't let her up. The poop remains on the table and she has not spoken to the guy.
Would you even TELL people you did this? now people like me hear the story and tell everyone.
HHS: WAIT a second...is this an urban legend? I've heard this same exact story before...
C: OMG this story is hilarious.
Also---why wouldnt she just leave the poop in the toilet. Like lets be honest, he probs would have thought he or one of his roommates did it....
C: No, HHS. You have told a version of this story about that girl on your swim team who pooped INTO a plastic bag.
HLR: HHS.................
R: OR the story of KC's RA freshman year who pooped in the hallway on the way to the shower and picked up her poop and put it into her shower caddy...
HHS: yeah, no I am aware of both of those stories...im saying i have IN ADDITION TO hear this one as well..that makes 3 poop stories for me.
KK: HAHAHAA I'm laughing at my desk.
OK- first of all, no. Why would you scoop your poop and then PUT IT ON THE KITCHEN TABLE?!?!? That is unbelieveably unsanitary and there's obviously doodie water all over those bags. Why didn't she hide it at the bottom of the trash can or throw it out the window or something?! ANYTHING other than put it on the kitchen table.
Idiot.
C: Can we please reveal who amanda really is? I want to judge her more than i already am....
MCG: And how could you go back to sleep after that?? I don't believe it. Too many holes in the story. No pun intended.
H-Ster: I just spewed water all over my computer from laughing so hard.
What is WRONG with people? the fact that we have at least 4 similar poop stories is crazy!
H-Ster: So that first story came out at happy hour last night. And another guy had a funny poop story too.
A guy came in for an interview at his company last week. He sits through rounds of interviews and asks by the end if he can be excused to go to the bathroom. They say no, we're heading to HR first. On the way to HR, the guy turns around and starts running down the hall - poop is falling out of his pants. My friend's boss was so mortified that the kid shat his pants bc he didn't let him go to the bathroom!!! that he went to the Gap, bought the guy a new pair of boxers and pants, and brought them to the men's room. They also had to quarantine the hallway because of his feces droppings.
KK: What I don't understand is how poop just falls out of people like this.
peaceloveandpoop.
C&R
C: No, HHS. You have told a version of this story about that girl on your swim team who pooped INTO a plastic bag.
HLR: HHS.................
R: OR the story of KC's RA freshman year who pooped in the hallway on the way to the shower and picked up her poop and put it into her shower caddy...
HHS: yeah, no I am aware of both of those stories...im saying i have IN ADDITION TO hear this one as well..that makes 3 poop stories for me.
KK: HAHAHAA I'm laughing at my desk.
OK- first of all, no. Why would you scoop your poop and then PUT IT ON THE KITCHEN TABLE?!?!? That is unbelieveably unsanitary and there's obviously doodie water all over those bags. Why didn't she hide it at the bottom of the trash can or throw it out the window or something?! ANYTHING other than put it on the kitchen table.
Idiot.
C: Can we please reveal who amanda really is? I want to judge her more than i already am....
MCG: And how could you go back to sleep after that?? I don't believe it. Too many holes in the story. No pun intended.
H-Ster: I just spewed water all over my computer from laughing so hard.
What is WRONG with people? the fact that we have at least 4 similar poop stories is crazy!
H-Ster: So that first story came out at happy hour last night. And another guy had a funny poop story too.
A guy came in for an interview at his company last week. He sits through rounds of interviews and asks by the end if he can be excused to go to the bathroom. They say no, we're heading to HR first. On the way to HR, the guy turns around and starts running down the hall - poop is falling out of his pants. My friend's boss was so mortified that the kid shat his pants bc he didn't let him go to the bathroom!!! that he went to the Gap, bought the guy a new pair of boxers and pants, and brought them to the men's room. They also had to quarantine the hallway because of his feces droppings.
KK: What I don't understand is how poop just falls out of people like this.
peaceloveandpoop.
C&R
The only part I don't believe about this story is that a genius like Amanda is unemployed.
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