I look forward to this even before the episode is over.

Gossip Girl Recap: How Do We Know What Matters If Gossip Girl Isn’t Around to Tell Us?

Some highlights:

• Blair in that brown dress looks like she’s starved herself for two weeks for the first day of school. Real. Plus 5.

• Eva has non-famous, normal-person teeth. Plus 2.

• Milo’s face when they are talking about foster care. Plus 5.

• Also, they wear those giant keys around their necks all the time? Do Pi Kappa Alpha girls wear tiny kegs of booze around their necks, like St. Bernards? No. At least they would at least have had Tiffany make nice, demure key necklaces or something. Minus 8.

• Even though they have a whole house, the Hamilton House happy hour is conducted on the steps of the school. While we appreciate the retro Constance Billiard reference, no matter how pretty you are, the police don’t let you just drink martinis at the Franz Sigel sculpture. Minus 5.

• "Once men have tasted caviar it baffles me how they settle for catfish," Blair says when she and Serena see Nate kissing Juliet. Ew. What? Why? Why not, "tasted Bordeaux/settle for Yellowtail"? Or "flown first class/settle for coach." Or even, "eaten Oreos/settled for Hydrox"? Anything but a fish metaphor. Minus 2.


peaceloveandcanilooklikeblakelively?

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